Teaching News

Yesterday was the final exam for the English part of the new degree extension course. Hooray that it's finally over! Not that I didn't enjoy teaching it, but on the whole, this new 2 year program has been extraordinarily badly organised. Things seem to get started without enough thought as to how exactly they're going to work out, then when problems begin to appear, changes are made in haste and (inevitably) are badly thought through.

Anyway, English has been both a challenge and a joy to teach to these students. We decided that it would be most useful to them if it was relevant to their jobs (they're all qualified pre-school teachers), rather than just a course on improving their own spoken English. So we did vocabulary, songs, instructions and games that you'd need if you wanted to teach English to young children. That was the first semester. Then the second semester, the structure of the course changed to a modular system, so instead of an hour and a half once a week for 17 weeks, I suddenly had to teach 3 hours a week for 6 weeks!!! Still, once I got over the shock of that, and with an enormous amount of reliance on God in the lesson planning, I taught them about planning and other methodology useful for teaching English to very young children.

Well, the exam yesterday consisted in them pretty much writing down everything they'd learnt about how to teach English to young children. They also had to choose three things they'd learnt that were most useful to them and tell me how they were going to put them into practice in their own teaching (in whatever subject) and then they had to plan a lesson, according to given criteria. They did amazingly well!! I was so impressed with how much they've learnt, it really sounds as though they could all plan and teach English with no problems. I was particularly excited to read the things they're going to put into practice (or already are putting into practice!), having been inspired by this module. So I'm very excited and so happy to have done the course, even if it was extremely stressful at times! The best thing for me (and the biggest reason I came) is to see people trained to teach English (or any foreign language) in a way that is fun and motivates the kids. I've achieved my goal. I guess I can go home now!!!!! (Only kidding, Sam!)

Oh, and did I say it's finally over? Well, actually of course the final exam is not the final exam - I mean, the students who didn't have the right to do the final exam (maybe because they didn't do enough coursework, didn't come to enough lessons, didn't do the mid-term test or didn't pay their fees) get to do the resit next week. If they still have problems, then they get to do it the week after that. If, after these three chances they still can't pass, then at some point in the future (maybe just the following week, who knows?) they get to do the 3rd resit. I think that's really their last chance. And by that time, the teacher, the academic head and the academic secretary are all fed up, both with the subject and with the students who can't get their backsides into gear and do what's necessary. It's a pretty frustrating system for someone coming from the UK, where a pass is a pass and a fail means "goodbye."

And then there's the pass mark: 70%. SEVENTY PERCENT!!! Just to PASS! This means, of course, that the majority of the exam (and all coursework as well) has to be dead easy, so that all students get the chance to pass, at least. Oh, oops, you may be thinking that that's not so obvious, but I forgot to mention (though it may be clear by now!) that the students should all be able to pass. Hmm. What about those who don't quite have the brain cells to make it? Ah, well, poor wee things, they'll get all upset if they actually find out they're not up to the task. So the exam, the coursework and all the figures are manipulated so that they do pass, whether they are good enough or not.

AAAARRGGHHH! It drives me up the wall.

However, I do my best to take it all in my stride nowadays - it took a bit of getting used to but after 2 and a half years of it, I think at work I generally give the impression all this is quite normal, though in private I tear my hair out!

Now I have to ask myself how much of my frustration is justified because there's really a better way to do things, and how much of it is due to the difference in cultures between my home country and the place I'm now serving? How much should I just swallow the frustration and get on with it and how much do I have a right/duty/obligation to try and convince others that it might be better for everyone (the college, the teachers and the students) if things were done in a different way?

Well, firstly, it's not just FEISA that runs this way, it's the whole education system in Paraguay, from state primary schools to private universities. Secondly, I'm not in a decision-making role at FEISA, so I don't have a platform for suggesting any kind of change in the academic systems at the college.

So my approach has been one of going along with it, mostly uncomplainingly. And when I have complained, it's been to one of my British colleagues, so as not to offend the Paraguayans I work with. It would be extremely easy for me to start criticising the system left right and centre, from a position of "I come from an education system which is far superior to yours." However, I wouldn't make many friends that way! And since the system is so entrenched, any comments I made would not actually make any difference - the fact is, I and the rest of the teachers at FEISA have to work within the system, doing the best we can in the circumstances.

I think one of the most important cross-cultural approaches anyone can have is to look at the system, learn how it works and why it works that way and if you truthfully see that it could be improved, limit yourself to your own, rightful sphere of influence. For me, that influence stays within the classroom. So I turn up on time; I prepare thoroughly; I make sure what I teach is as relevant and interesting as possible, within the subject matter; I do my best to make my lessons interactive and engaging; I set homework which is an extension to the learning they have done in the lesson and I expect it to be handed in on time, etc. In this way, I hope to model excellence, in an effort to show the students that it can be done. If someone with a bigger sphere of influence within the college were interested, they could find out how I teach and maybe be inspired to encourage others to work to similar standards. Then things might begin to change.

As it is, the students I've been teaching are qualified pre-school teachers, so it is possible that they themselves might see the possibilities of giving yourself high expectations and be inspired to follow my example in their own classrooms. The knock-on effect of this in itself could be huge: Other teachers may copy them. However, the children themselves will reap the biggest reward, having committed teachers at an age when they are forming their own attitudes to learning. If they have good teachers in pre-school, they will enjoy learning throughout their lives. And that's got to be a good thing. Even if it is a bit pie in the sky!

© Fiona L Cooper 2008

Introvert or Extrovert? THAT is the Question!

The world can be divided in many ways; between women and men; singles and married; those who love Marmite and those who hate it; those who live in the country and those who live in a town; the list is endless. But one of the more significant divisions is that between the extroverts and the introverts.

Here's a conversation I overheard between "Ida" the introvert and "Eve" the extrovert, who were both studying and living at Bible College. You'll probably identify with either one or the other:

Eve: "What are you doing this afternoon?"
Ida: "I think I'll go swimming."
Eve: "Oh, what a great idea, I'll come with you!"
Ida (all of a sudden feeling much less enthusiastic about swimming!): "okay then"
Eve (a bit puzzled why Ida isn't jumping up and down with pleasure at the idea of having company, but nevertheless thrilled with the idea herself): "fantastic, I'll go get my stuff!"

What Eve failed to realise is that Ida was looking forward to spending the time alone at the pool. In fact, one of the reasons she chose that as an activity was precisely because she didn't want to join in any of the group activities that were taking place closer to home! Eve on the other hand imagines she's doing Ida a great favour, because who would want to go swimming on their own if she could have company?!!!

At a social gathering, the introverts will be the ones sitting in deep conversation with someone, or they'll be standing by a wall somewhere, looking very uncomfortable and trying to think of an excuse to leave as soon as possible. Meanwhile, the extroverts are talking in groups, or talking to a string of people, wandering from one conversation to another.

This division can define our lives in quite profound ways. Depending on which side of the line you are on, you may get a real buzz out of being around people a lot, or you feel that excitement about spending hours on your own. Just as there is no better option between the sexes or whether you're married or single, there is no better option between being an extrovert or an introvert.

However, as an unapolagetic introvert, I have observed that the world tends to be defined on extroverts' terms. This means introverts often get defined in negative ways - 'uncomfortable in social situations'; 'don't have vast numbers of friends', etc, rather than positive terms, like; 'have very deep and satisfying friendships'; 'enjoy spending time on their own', etc. It is generally the extroverts that run the world; they are the ones who organise the social events and the ones you notice at parties; they are the ones who can walk into a room full of people and know they're going to have a great time. Meanwhile the introvert will hang back and let the extroverts do all the socialising, all the time hoping that one of them might take enough of an interest in her to really find out how she ticks. Unfortunately, that ain't likely to happen, certainly not straight away.

Extroverts often make introverts feel worthless because they think everyone ought to be as comfortable as they are in social situations and they can look down on those who struggle, with the attitude of, "just get over it." However, for an introvert, the idea of spending time in new social situations, or with a lot of people they don't necessarily know, is actually extremely stressful and can be quite traumatic. Really. I know someone who, while at Bible College, decided to eat lunch in her room every day because she couldn't face the daily stress of entering the huge dining hall and choosing somewhere to sit. I can picture those of you who are reading this and thinking, "pull yourselves together, don't be ridiculous!" If you're thinking that, then the chances are you're a definite extrovert.

The world tells introverts they're inadequate to such a degree that they often end up believing that there really is something wrong with them. Unfortunately, because introverts tend to be quieter (not exclusively, but generally speaking!) then they don't get heard above the din of the extroverts who are particularly fond of the sound of their own voices! This means they can feel very misunderstood and many times think they are the only one in the world to struggle in this way. It can be a wonderful relief to realise that there are many of us out there who understand.

Challenges on the mission field
Introverts face particular challenges on the mission field. Entering a new culture forces people into a huge number of new social situations; with their mission team-mates, with their work colleagues, with people at church... And most of these will have different social "rules" to those they are used to. An introvert tends to process things internally so you may not see much "progress" in the adaptation to the new culture, but that does not mean it's not happening. Introverts need longer to observe people in social contexts in order to understand what's expected of them before feeling able to join in.

Language learning is a particular challenge to introverts. In order to improve your fluency, there's no other way than to take the plunge and try to communicate, even though you'll make mistakes. For an introvert, this can be a massive hurdle. Firstly because introverts don't tend to have the same desire to communicate that extroverts do, so there are fewer moments when they have the incentive they need to get over their fear of making a mistake. Secondly because, in processing their thoughts internally first, they take longer to reach a point where they know what they want to say, even in their first language. In a second language, this is magnified and so an introvert quickly feels frustrated that they can't respond quick enough, even when their actual level of knowledge of the language is sufficient to cope with the situation.

It is much harder for an introvert than an extrovert to get to know people and it takes longer for them to feel they have friends, because for an introvert a friendship is only satisfying when it has reached a certain depth. So introverts new to the mission field can feel lonely for a significant length of time. This calls for a certain amount of understanding on the part of the mission leaders. Understanding; not criticism! Please, if you're an extrovert and are in charge of introverts who are new to the field, don't compare them to the extroverts they've just replaced, who were so great at just getting on with it and making friends in the new culture etc. Give your introverts space to adapt and observe; in your shadow to begin with if need be. Then you will see that gradually they will find their feet and begin to take the initiative.

A word of caution to my fellow introverts; don't make it an excuse to hide away at home! It can be very tempting to feel sorry for yourself and want to steer clear of all uncomfortable situations. That's not possible and there's a fine line to walk between giving yourself the time and space you need and avoiding facing the challenges altogether. You need to walk closely with God to know which are the situations you need to force yourself into and which you can justifiably put off facing until you are better settled.

Finally, a note of encouragement; God made everyone different. Each one of us is unique and special to Him. None of us is better or worse than anyone else. There is no personality which should be aspired to; both extroverts and introverts have their strengths and weaknesses. Please don't wish you were made differently! Find out what your strengths are and learn to take advantage of them for the advancement of God's kingdom. Discover where your weaknesses are and learn to manage them in a healthy way. And most of all, learn to appreciate others for their own unique contributions in Christ's body; neither criticising them nor envying them for the ways they are different from you.

Particularly dedicated to my introvert friends on the SIM-Py team. You know who you are! Your friendship is like hot chocolate by a bonfire on a cold night in July!


Update: 23rd Sep 08:
Today I got a newsletter from an extrovert friend who has just moved from the UK to Asia and she writes this: "That evening when I returned I decided to spend some time with the girls who live in this boarding house. Every evening they peel garlic and sing songs together. So I joined them and spent about 2 hours chatting and peeling garlic." Perhaps this wasn't as easy for her as it sounds, but the idea of joining a well-established group in this way TERRIFIES me!!! I would first have to have short, individual conversations with the different people and then I'd need to be invited to join them - NO WAY could I ever just sit down with them like that!! And reading her comment made me feel rather inadequate because it seems like the absolutely best thing she could have done in the circumstances, but if it had been me, I'd have failed miserably.

© Fiona L Cooper 2008

Letter to the discouraged single girl in search of a husband

Dear friend,

You and I both grew up, as all girls do, assuming that we would get married one day. At first I thought that maybe I would marry one of the boys at school... I'd probably meet my husband at university... Then my friends started getting married and I knew my time would come soon... When I reached my late twenties and there still wasn't a husband on the horizon, I really thought God was taking a long time to answer my prayer... Eventually in my thirties I started to consider the possibility that I might remain single forever and my challenge now is to discover how best to deal with that possibility. Whatever stage you're at, I hope that some of the reflections below might help you see your situation in a more positive light and lead you to lean more on God.

Techniques and Formulas
To begin with, there are no techniques or formulas for finding a husband, no matter what anyone tells you. Plenty of people have given me advice about what I should do in order to better prepare myself for finding the right man. God does not work according to techniques or formulas. Just because one person found success using a particular method, does not mean that the same method can be applied successfully to everyone else.

Each child of God is unique. We all have our own individual gifts, personalities, strengths and weaknesses. God creates each person with a particular purpose in mind and everyone's journey is different. So just because an old friend tells you that she just prayed and prayed and prayed for a husband, and God provided her with one, does not mean that if you pray in the same way God will send you Mr Right. Perhaps you've heard someone say that she came to a point with God when she was adamant that she didn't want to get married; she stopped thinking and praying about it and, poof! there appeared before her very eyes the most perfect man she could have wished for... I know I've heard that one from many sources! Don't be tempted to follow her "method." And don't think that God would have given you a husband by now if you had only been doing x, y or z in an effort to find him. God is bigger than that. He knows what is best for you and he does not provide you with things just because you comply with some invisible rulebook.

Your journey with God is not your friend's. You have your own challenges to overcome and your own strengths to develop.

Marriage = Eternal Happiness?
Our problem is that the dream of marriage we are sold by society, the media and the church promises eternal happiness: The happy ever after of fairytales can be yours, if you only look for it in the right place or wait long enough or make it happen yourself.

Do you know that when you get married, it will be to an imperfect man? You may wish and hope for "the perfect man" but take note; he doesn't exist. Really. I know you're probably thinking, "of course I know that, I'm not expecting to marry the perfect man, just the one who's perfect for me." But are you sure you're not thinking somewhere deep inside that, if God's making you wait for marriage, it's because he's got someone who is going to be completely wonderful in every way?

I wonder what you think marriage will be like? Why do you really want to get married? Why are you so unhappy with your singleness?

Perhaps you have an unrealistic idea of what marriage is like. I know I did.

I was looking forward to companionship, intimacy and support. I was sure my husband would banish my loneliness and fulfill all my desires. But hang on. Remember, he's an imperfect man. So what? Well, for a start, I imagine my husband to be willing to spend time with me whenever I want. However, the man I marry will have his own priorities and will not always be willing to spend time with me, and may in fact want to spend time with me when I'd rather be doing something else. My imaginary husband would also love everything about me and I would love everything about him, of course. But wait a moment, every one of us has hang-ups and habits and attitudes that come from our sinful nature and that make us difficult to live with.

So I will not find the complete intimacy I long for in marriage. Neither will I find that special someone who will always take my side and fight my corner, supporting me 24 hours a day, 365 days a year: He will have his own concerns and stresses and commitments, which means times will come when I want his support but he will be unable to provide it. There will be times in my marriage when I will feel misunderstood, unsupported and alone because my husband will not be able to meet my emotional needs. There may well be moments when I will feel lonelier in marriage than I ever have done as a single person.

So why do I have these desires for companionship, intimacy and support, if they won't be satisfied by getting married?

Because God created me with these needs in order to satisfy them himself. The Lord is the only one who can meet all my needs and so I need to look to him to feel fulfilled, right now. Marriage will not satisfy the deep longings I have, only God can do that, so I need to stop longing for marriage and start longing for God.

God loves you just the way you are and your singleness is part of that at the moment, like it or not. He created you because he wanted to have a relationship with you, but it's hard for him to have a relationship with you when you're so focused on finding a husband. You're distracted; your priorities are not as they should be.

"And don't be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God's place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life." (1 Cor 7:17, The Message)

It's fine to want to get married but it's not fine to place all your hopes, dreams and expectations on that desire.

God's Gifts
Don't be expecting to ever "have it sorted" in terms of coming to terms with your singleness. And don't beat yourself up because you're not completely content with your singleness. Your discontent and your frustration are the spur to keep you looking to God, to keep asking for his grace and to help you recognise that you do indeed depend upon him to keep you going. God wants you to depend on him. That way you become closer to him, and he can bless you more freely.

There have been times when I have felt content with my singleness and I have been so grateful to God in those moments. However, these times inevitably end and I feel so fed up again; with my own weakness as much as anything. But God is still there and he's teaching me things through the heartache. I have to hang onto him and remember that it is only his grace that keeps me going.

You will have heard people quote Psalm 37 verse 4; "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart" and this is often taken to mean that whatever it is that you want right now, he will give you that thing as soon as you begin to delight in him. But surely it means that, once you start delighting yourself in him, your desires become more in tune with his for your life and so you start wanting what he wants for you, and that does not necessarily include marriage!!!!!

God does want to give you good and perfect gifts, of course he does. But it is very dangerous to assume that these gifts will come in the shape of your own desires. They may do, but they may not.

The Privilege of Singleness
Do you believe you have a right to get married? What makes you think that?

It's a fact of Christian life that some Christian women, including a significant proportion of those in full-time ministry, don't get married. And most of them have a life-long desire for marriage.

Don't give in to bitterness; it only damages yourself and your relationship with God. Instead, seek the Lord. He loves you more than any man ever could. He's waiting for you to turn your whole self towards him, to follow him with no regrets and no doubts. Trust God to provide for your needs. Trust him to know what's best for you. See every challenge and every difficulty as an opportunity to lean on God and thus learn from him.

Our intense desire for marriage is the product of a fallen world. As women, our fallen nature leads us to turn away from God and look for a man who can provide security and stability, on whom we can depend to meet our needs, instead of looking to God for that.

This is why singleness is such a privilege. To have discovered that God, rather than my mythical prince charming, is the answer to all my desires, is a wonderful blessing. If I had entered marriage thinking that my husband would fulfill all these expectations, I would have soon become very disappointed. My singleness also gives me the opportunity to become so intimate with God that I no longer look for satisfaction anywhere else, without the distraction of a man in my life. Then if I do find a man to share my life with, I will know much better what it is marriage can and can't provide me with.

Heavenly!
In heaven we will find the fulfillment of all our desires. We will enter into a new phase of our relationship with God; one in which all our sadness and frustration and sin are swept away by the power of his love. We will experience love like we've never known it before; we will finally see ourselves as our Creator sees us and we will be the sinless people he made us to be; the best version of ourselves. We will be loved and will love in return with no holds barred, in complete freedom and with immense joy.

There is nothing on this earth that compares with the wonders of what we will experience the other side of death.

There will be no marriage or singleness; we will live in complete harmony with all creation and in wonderful community with all God’s people.

It's going to be amazing, and far beyond what we could ever imagine!!! So set your sights on heaven, not on marriage. Set your heart on knowing God more fully, not on finding your husband. That is where you will find the pure love, joy and satisfaction your heart desires.

God is Able
I have come to the conclusion that it makes absolutely no difference what I do or where I go: God is more than able to provide me with a husband, wherever I am and whatever I'm doing. The fact that he hasn't up until now means that I am better able to serve him and grow in maturity with him as a single than I would be if I were married. He likes me this way. My singleness is a precious part of who I am and part of what makes me beautiful in his eyes.

So it's not about techniques for catching a husband or persistence in a particular type of prayer, it's about God's sovereign will for my life. Your life. There is absolutely nothing to stop him giving either of us a husband. The fact that he hasn't means it is his will for us to be single right now and no amount of searching, make-up or flirting is going to make the slightest difference. I, for one, wouldn't want to be anywhere other than in the centre of his will. Would you?

And if his will is for me to remain unmarried until he takes me into glory, then my prayer is that he will use my life, my gifts and my passions to his good purposes. I also pray that I will know him in ever-increasing intimacy, always looking to him to satisfy the desires of my heart, as only he can. May this be your prayer too.

God be your comfort and your guide as you walk this challenging path.

Fiona

© Fiona L Cooper 2008

Crazy Weather!

As you know, Paraguay's winter months are June through to August, more or less. The temperatures have been known to go as low as 0ºC during the night, though I'm pretty sure it's never snowed! This year, we had a cold-ish June but then July, which is usually the coldest month, was beautiful, with temperatures around 25º during the day. August was pretty variable, but generally cool to warm, no extremes either way. Then this week. Monday was warm. Tuesday was pretty hot. Wednesday was extremely hot, at 40º in the afternoon, then Thursday was cold all of a sudden (15-18º) and today (Friday) has been very cold, with an icy breeze - I don't think the temperature has risen above 10º all day! So on Wednesday, we were all walking around in our summer clothes and sandals, complaining about the heat and today we've been wrapped up in layers of woollies because it's sooo cold! Today was the first day all winter when I've been able to see my breath. Crazy! But I love the feeling of the cool air on my face when I'm wrapped up warm. So I've been smiling all day, though I don't think many others have been!



I'm going to have a cup of hot chocolate now and tuck myself up in bed with a book. Mmmm. Perfect!

© Fiona L Cooper 2008