Season's Greetings 2008

Walbottle Village First School 1980 Class 2

Dad found this in the attic the other day and sent it to me and my brother (who are both in the picture). Isn't it wonderful? I would have been about 7 and Keith would have been about 6. Keith and I spent some time yesterday on Yahoo Messenger identifying as many of our old classmates as we could. He was really good, I was well impressed with his recall of names. I was rubbish - I could only remember some girls in my year group; he could remember boys and girls from both year groups. Amazing! Through that discussion, I started thinking about a lot of things about my time at First School: Being in the same class as my brother, Maypole dancing, the kids who were from our village and those who were from nearby villages, friends we made at the time but have completely lost touch with now and birthday parties with Cadbury's Chocolate Fingers, which we never got at home! And I really remember hardly anything about the "lovely Miss Male" as my dad called her - she obviously made an impression on him!

We look like a real rag-tag bunch of random kids, don't we? I love it! We had a uniform, but it was obviously not as strict as uniform policies in some schools nowadays. As I recall, we really were from a wide range of backgrounds; some came from the posh new estate, some from the non-posh bit of the village and others from a neighbouring pit village. It was a small school (you can probably tell!) so we all knew each other and would play together in the evenings, weekends and holidays, out in the streets of the village or round at each other's houses. I remember watching Torvill and Dean skate their way to victory at the Winter Olympics at a friend's house in the posh part of the village, on a black and white telly (which was a bit incongruous, since we lived in the non-posh bit but had a colour telly!). I don't remember there being anything like a "cool crowd" at First School. I think we hung around with people who liked to do similar types of things at lunchtimes, mainly.

Nowadays my parents live right opposite the entrance to the First School and it's quite different now. The majority of the children are brought in cars (which tend to get annoyingly parked in front of our driveway!) rather than walked to school. They come from further away - there are very very few children in our village as far as I'm aware. At least you never see them - I guess if they do exist, they'll be inside playing on their Playstation or whatever. I think it's a shame that kids nowadays don't spend the same amount of time outdoors that we did. Well, that's my tuppence worth for the day!

The photo's a bit small, but can you tell which one is me?

© Fiona L Cooper 2008

The Joy of Singleness

I'm done with self-pity.

I'm over feeling sorry for myself.
I've had enough of wallowing.

It's time to challenge the assumption which is prevalent in society and the church that marriage is inherently better than singleness. It's not. Look at what Jesus and Paul say (Matt 19:11-12; 1 Cor 7:27-28 & 32-34). Jesus himself was single, in a culture where it was by far the norm to marry. In our culture too it is the norm to get married, or at the very least (for non-Christians) to have long-term sexual relationships. This makes it pretty hard for those of us who are single. The pressure comes from all sides to "find THE ONE," settle down and have a family.

Because it is so normal to get married, those of us who aren't feel as though we're missing out on something; we're not quite grown-up if we haven't entered the club of the "married with children." And so we lament our lack of companionship, sexual fulfillment and offspring. And we get together with others in our situation and moan about the lack of single Christian men and we try not to look too desperate whenever we meet a new man who's single.

But what if we really believed that there is nothing wrong with being single? What if we could see our singleness as being a channel for God's blessing and even an opportunity to grow in intimacy with God which we wouldn't have if we were married? What if we could show the world the benefits of being single, so that others could see for real that it's a truly blessed lifestyle?

Then people might see that singleness can be more than just a time of waiting for the right man; that it can mean a life of fulfilled contentment. The single people we know who are younger than us might learn not to fear singleness in the way that we did when we were younger. Wouldn't that be awesome?

I am tired of the messages I am constantly bombarded with about how much better life is if it's lived with a partner. I want to explore the possibility of living out my singleness without feeling that it is somehow less valid than marriage. Marriage is the norm. I want to be normal. But why do I feel that normal is good and therefore abnormal is bad? Perhaps the word 'abnormal' has negative connotations. What about 'unusual' then? Or 'unique'? Every one of us is unique, so why should we want to conform to society's idea of what's good? Unique is good. Let's be proud of being different. Romans 12:2 says, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will."

Let's stop thinking of marriage as some higher state of being and start thinking about our singleness as being God's gift to us at this time. It is a gift he has given us which we can use for his good purposes, to bless and encourage others and to grow in intimacy with him. When we focus on God, our perspective changes. We start to see things as he sees them and so we begin to understand something of his wonderful plan for us as we accept our circumstances and step out in faith with him.

Let's live life to the full, making the most of every opportunity to develop our gifts and form deep relationships. This life is all about relationships, but not just of the romantic, life-long partnership kind. Invest in the friendships you have. Seek out new friends. Make time to really get to know other people; develop bonds of shared experiences and emotions. Be generous with your love. Spend time with families - if you long for children of your own it can be a wonderful thing to get to know other people's children. As a non-parent, you can develop a very special relationship with children that can be of enormous blessing to yourself, the children and their parents.

Most importantly, invest time and energy in your relationship with God. He is there, waiting for us to turn to him, longing for us to know him as he knows us. He wants all of us, not just half an hour in the morning, but all day, every day. He loves us with a passion no human could ever match. Why settle for anything less than a fully intimate relationship with our Lord?

If marriage is a picture of God's relationship within the Trinity, and if sex is a glimpse of heaven, then these are truly wonderful things. But they are images of something deeper, more intimate, more holy, more connected, more fulfilling. More, more, more. Why should we want the image if the real thing is out there, waiting to be found by us? The real, deep, abiding, passionate, never-ending, glorious love of the Father is ours for the taking. Why do we search for its earthly substitute if God is calling us here and now into a holy union with him? Can't you hear the Father's voice calling you; "Arise my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me." (Song 2:10)? He is inviting us to join him on an adventure of abandoning ourselves completely to him.

Rob Bell says (referring to the passages from Matthew and 1 Corinthians above), "It's not just that you're fine single. The premise of the Scriptures is that you are able to connect with God and serve God in ways that those who are married can't. The tilt is towards being single, not away from it." (Sex God)

Let's be glad for the things which make us different from our married friends. Let's enjoy our solitude, our independence, our freedom to choose what to do and when and how to do it. Let's not feel guilty any longer for being able to sleep late on a Saturday when everyone else has to get up with the larks to take the kids swimming or do the weekly shop. Let's enjoy doing things on the spur of the moment and choosing which film to watch without having to take anyone else's taste into account! Let's talk about the things we enjoy about our life with our friends, single and married alike. Let's begin to spread the word that being single can be A Good Thing.

And let's seize the opportunities our single life gives us to love the Lord our God with all our heart, all our soul and all our strength (see Deut 6:5). Let us say from the bottom of our heart that, "you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance." (Ps 16:5-6) Let us seek him with an unquenchable desire, reaching for the day when, "you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand." (Ps 16:11)

Let's make it our aim to find our satisfaction in our Lord and Saviour, and let's not rest until we have found complete joy in deep intimacy with him.

Two books I recommend about singleness/relationships and God:
Al Hsu "The Single Issue" (Known in the US as "Singles at the Crossroads")
Rob Bell "Sex God: Exploring the Endless Connections Between Sexuality and Spirituality."

Other books I recommend about a deeper, more fulfilling relationship with God:
John Piper "When I Don't Desire God"
Jeanne Guyon "Experiencing the Depths of Jesus Christ"
Elizabeth Prentiss "Stepping Heavenwards"


© Fiona L Cooper 2008

Teaching and Learning in the Chaco

Last week I had the privilege of accompanying the third year FEISA students on a trip to various communities in the remote and inhospitable Chaco region of Paraguay. The purpose of this yearly outing is to give the students who are about to graduate the opportunity to see different kinds of educational projects being run in indigenous and Mennonite communities. Most of them only have experience of city life, so it can be very valuable indeed to show them the reality of life in indigenous areas as well as the very different way the Mennonites organise their communities.

We left Asunción on Tuesday at 6am on a bus which promised a working toilet, tv and dvd player. There was much disappointment when it was discovered that neither the toilet, the tv nor the dvd player worked properly. And that was before we'd even left the city! Later that morning, we arrived at a community boarding school called Pai Puku, where 500 children live and learn from February to November every year. They are the sons and daughters of parents who have to leave their homes to find work and this gives them an education they would not otherwise have access to. The school is run by the Catholic Church and funded, in part, from Belgium, where the founding priest came from. (He was named Pai Puku by the locals - Pai meaning priest and Puku meaning tall in Guaraní) It is an amazing place, in a remote area, with little access to anything. The children are involved in all the cleaning, washing, ironing, bread-making, gardening, carpentry that make sure the community runs smoothly. They are amazingly self-sufficient and independent. The girls and boys are taught life-skills along with regular lessons, so that when it comes time for them to leave they have at least some of the tools they need in order to make a go of life. I was very inspired!

Girls at the laundry sinks in Pai Puku.

Later that afternoon, we arrived at an indigenous community a long way from the tarmac'd road, called Dos Palmas, or Two Palms (though there wasn't even one palm to be seen!) This is one of the communities FEISA is helping this year through the pre-school training programme the college runs. We arrived at 3pm and it was 38º in the shade. Some of the students had been designated the task of painting murals on the pre-school classroom walls and the rest had organised games for the children outside. In the heat. I went between the two groups, taking photos, for a time. The children and their mothers thoroughly enjoyed the games and the painters were doing a really great job, though it was quite painstaking at times. After a while I really couldn't handle the heat outside any longer and stayed inside with the painters. I inevitably got roped in to help and am proud to say that the butterfly on the wall was painted by lil' old me! It was horribly hot and also extremely dusty, due to the severe drought that the Chaco experiences every year during the cooler (and drier) months between April and October.

Kids at Dos Palmas playing games.

Me and my butterfly!

Three hours after we arrived, much hotter and quite exhausted, we left Dos Palmas to head further north to a Mennonite town called Loma Plata. This is a community with a population of about 5,000, very efficiently run by people whose ancestry comes from Germany, via Canada, for the most part. They speak German and often English, but many don't speak Spanish at all. On Tuesday night we stayed with friends and family of one of our students who comes from the town. They looked after us very well and I enjoyed meeting new people I could talk to in English!

The following morning we visited an indigenous school which is part of a Mennonite-run project to train indigenous mothers to teach pre-school aged children. The project provides the resources and the training, but the community has to provide a committed teacher and food for the children, which is cooked over an open fire every morning. The children are taught in their own language (in this case Enxet) and we watched as they sang songs, recited poems, played games, practised the alphabet and did an art activity which involved glue! The wonderful thing about seeing this school was the obvious love the teacher and her helper exhibited towards the children and their joy in what they do, which was transmitted to the children and all who were watching that day.

Indigenous teacher and kids, marking attendance, using a wonderfully creative system!

We then went to the resource centre for this project and one of the co-ordinators explained to our students how the project is run and some of the difficulties they encounter. This was also very inspiring for me. It is just great to see people who are relatively well-off taking an interest in improving the opportunities of those near them who don't have the same access to resources and training. Glory be to God!

Indigenous kids brushing their teeth after eating.

After a good lunch in Loma Plata we went to visit a nursery school, run by the local council for the town's residents. It was now 42º in the shade! We were very excited to see one of FEISA's 2007 graduates working there and obviously enjoying it. The education system in the Mennonite community was much more like the kind of thing our girls are used to in schools in Asunción than the indigenous communities; it was easy to see the similarities there. After that we had the privilege of visiting an education centre for adults with learning disabilities. We saw the men doing woodwork and the women doing embroidery, all of which things were for a purpose, not just to keep the folk occupied. There was a little shop where you could buy the finished products and we later saw some items from there for sale in the town bookshop. Once again I was very inspired by the work going on there. I worked for two years with mentally handicapped adults in the UK and none of them did anything approaching as productive as these people were doing. I don't know how representative my experience was of what goes on with this sector of society in the UK, but having seen these Mennonite folk with disabilities actually working with their hands and producing something at the end of it, I feel it's a shame there isn't more of that at home. It gives them a purpose to their lives that they don't have if all they do is activities such as art, crafts, games, swimming etc. We were created to work and surely people with learning disabilities have that same innate need.

After a visit to the library and bookshop in Loma Plata, we started for home. On our way back south towards Asunción the countryside was noticeably greener than it had been the previous day. There had been torrential rain in Asunción that morning, we'd heard, and the lower part of the Chaco had obviously benefited too.

It was very encouraging to hear what the students had gained from the experience. They all said they had been impacted by the different things they saw. Some were affected by the school at Pai Puku. Others were touched by the joy on the faces of the children at Dos Palmas when they were playing games. One girl said she was very impressed with the way the Mennonites took care of the less-fortunate people in their community. It was certainly a memorable experience for everyone, including me.

Some of the students having fun on the journey home.

I arrived back in my flat at 10pm on the Wednesday. Extremely tired, hot and in desperate need of a shower!

© Fiona L Cooper 2008

Friendship

Here is a tribute to three beautiful women who have blessed me with their friendship over the past three years and who are all heading in new directions very soon. Alyssa, Kelly and Stacy, this is for you:

Friendship is the warmth of a long hug.

Friendship is long conversations about God and life.

Friendship is praying together.

Friendship is the challenge of a new way of understanding the Bible.

Friendship is supporting each other even when you don't understand each other.

Friendship is a phone call just to see how you're doing.

Friendship is the knowledge that someone's on your side.

Friendship is shared laughter.

Friendship is shared tears.

Friendship is delighting in each other's gifts.

Friendship is being quick to forgive and slow to take offence.

Friendship is shared meals.

Friendship is deep conversations that change your perspective on life.

Friendship is shared silence.

Friendship is the beauty of a smile on a familiar face.

Friendship is knowing what the other person is thinking before they've said anything.

Friendship is always being amazed at just how beautiful/intelligent/godly/selfless the other person is.

Friendship is walking the path of life together.

Friendship is joy, grace and love in human form.

Friendship is the best thing about this life.



Thank you Alyssa
Thank you Kelly
Thank you Stacy

for showing me what friendship can be. I love you and will miss you enormously.

© Fiona L Cooper 2008

Beautiful Buenos Aires

I got back yesterday at about 9am from a crazy weekend in the capital of Argentina with a group of SIM-Paraguay friends. Three of the group are energetic types who had decided to run the BA marathon, which took place on Sunday. The rest of us went to give them encouragement, and to see a different part of the continent while we were at it.

The weekend was crazy for many, many reasons, the first being that we took an overnight bus both ways, leaving Asunción on Friday afternoon and returning the same way on Tuesday morning. It's definitely an economical way of doing it, but exhausting too!

We stayed in a fab hotel in a lovely part of the city, near a park and surrounded by beautiful old buildings. The people were so friendly and helpful and the hotel itself was full of character. The city reminded me so much of Spain. The architecture, the cafés, the atmosphere in general... it is SO different from Asunción. It made me realise just how poor Paraguay is in comparison with its neighbour.

The five of us who weren't running spent the marathon day trying to catch up with those who were running! The four of us who hadn't accompanied the runners missed the start, due to the fact that we hadn't realised just how far away it was, added to the fact that all the surrounding roads were closed, of course. Oops. Then we had to find the friend who had gone with the runners, but by the time we found how to get to the meeting point we'd arranged, the meeting point had been removed!!! (we had said we'd see her at Km 1, but of course all the runners had already passed the marker so it had been taken down!) By the time we found our friend (who was walking with a crutch because of a recent knee replacement) we all needed a bit of a rest, so we sat down in the café area of a service station nearby. Oh, and it was raining. And we had the care of one of the runners' 11 month-old. So in between keeping the baby dry and fed and amused and changed, and dealing with the fact that we'd missed seeing the race begin, things were quite tense at times!

At this point, we were in the middle of nowhere on the outskirts of BA and wanted to get to the centre of town to watch the race go by. We weren't quite sure how we were going to do that, but in the end we realised we didn't have time to get to the mid-way point where we had hoped to cheer them on. There was much discussion about what to do instead. You can imagine, five women, all with a different idea! We finally decided that it would be best if we just went to the end of the race, but then there was the issue of how to get there. The marathon didn't do any kind of loop, it was pretty much from one end of the city to the other, neither of which parts were on our tourist map. So it was interesting, to put it mildly, five foreigners (including one on a crutch) and a baby, making our way across this vast and totally unknown city. We managed to navegate buses, underground metro and taxis to finally arrive in the area where the race would end, but then it turned out that we had to walk nearly three miles, along the route of the marathon, before arriving at the finish line! By the time we made it, the sun had come out and was blazing down on the spectators, and we were knackered! Our friend with the crutch had to stop before the end because she was struggling so much, though that meant that the runners had someone to cheer them on before they finished. We didn't have to wait too long at the finish line before our running friends turned up, and there was much jubilation at their arrival - we were all very proud of them for the immense amount of effort and determination which had got them there. In the end it was definitely worth all the hassle to see them arrive and share in their joy.



So we managed to see parts of the city tourists wouldn't normally get to experience and it was certainly an adventure! Particularly for those who come from rural parts of the US, where there is no public transport to speak of. Each new mode of transport was a challenge, in its own way!

On the way back, we split into two groups - the three runners and our friend with the crutch went all the way back in a taxi, while the rest of us decided we'd save a bit of money and go by train and underground. Only we were prevented from using the underground because of an accident so we had to get a bus - much more scary because it's not nearly as easy to know when you need to get off! Still, we made it, thanks be to God, without any problem. By the time we got back to the hotel, we were probably almost as exhausted as the marathon runners were!

I was desperate for a shower after all that, but decided to put it off and take advantage of the late afternoon sun and go take some photos in the nearby park:


I really enjoyed just spending some time on my own; taking photos, wandering aimlessly in the beauty of the greenery and then sitting for a while, just watching people going by.

One huge difference between Asunción and Buenos Aires is that I did not feel at all as though I 'stuck out' - there were people of all kinds of shapes, sizes and skin tone, so I really felt as though I blended in as much as any of them. In Paraguay, I'm often very aware of how different I look than the average Paraguayan, and that can be quite an uncomfortable feeling. I also found that I felt much more 'at home' in the sense that I knew much more what was expected of me - the culture seemed to be much more familiar to me than the Paraguayan one. I don't know whether this was because of its resemblance to Spain or just because it's a very big city and perhaps all big cities have certain things in common...

All in all, I adored being there and hope to go back some day. If you want to see more photos, go to my Picasa album:

Buenos Aires October 08

© Fiona L Cooper 2008

The Shack, a follow-up story

I read this novel by William P. Young a couple of months ago and was blown away by the freshness of a new vision of God and Christianity that I found there. I know it has caused A LOT of controversy, but I loved it. I won't go as far as saying everyone should read it: If you don't want to, that's fine. However, please don't criticise the book unless you've actually read it. There's nothing worse than folk who form opinions based on other people's opinions, rather than looking out the facts for themselves.

I found the author's website today and on it was this conversation, between God (a female named Papa) and himself, titled "The Beauty of Ambiguity" which I loved too:

I am back in the warmth of the cabin, watching through the window as early spring rains drench the surrounding landscape, low hanging clouds darkening the day. A late snow is coming, but not quite yet. Even though the fire crackles and snaps as it eats through its main course, I still snuggle deeper into the heaviness of the quilt that Papa left for me. She is soon back with a cup of tea, something that smells of wood and mint and a hint of jasmine. I grin. She knows me best, and whatever it is that she is handing me, I trust.

“Rough week, eh?” she asks, as if she doesn’t already know.

I take a sip. It’s very hot, just the way I like it, and the flavor is perfect for the dreary day and for my mood. I swallow the warmth and can feel it fall inside and reach fingers of comfort into even the hidden places.

“Yeah,” I respond.

“Want to talk about it?” she coaxes, sitting down with her own cup of something that I can smell is at least part coffee.

“Nope…and yes.” I don’t really know where to start and she’s patient. I love just being with Papa, knowing that he knows, even before I say anything and yet respectful as she waits. I still don’t know where to start and finally she helps me with a little verbal push.

“The book seems to be doing well?” I look up and she is grinning. Papa is talking about The Shack, the little fiction story that I wrote for my children.

“Not because of anything I’m doing,” I grunt. “It’s doing it all on its own.”

“Nothing or no one does anything on its own, not even me.” The statement makes me smile and I am comforted in the knowledge that Jesus and Sarayu are also present though unseen. Her observation is one of those invitations to go deeper, but I decline and go another direction.

read the rest

© Fiona L Cooper 2008

warm the cockles of your heart

with a story about... ice!

You know how on a hot summer's day there's nothing better than an iced drink? Well here in Paraguay, there are lots of hot days. One of the ways Paraguayans keep cool is by drinking an ice-cold "tea" made with a native herb. The drink is called terere (pronounced teyreyrey, sort of!) and is drunk by first filling a wooden beaker with the herb, pouring iced water from a thermos flask onto the herb and then drinking through a metal straw. It's extremely refreshing, it's usually shared with friends and it contains some kind of stimulant so keeps you awake during the drowsy heat.

It's important to have access to ice so that there's a ready supply of ice-cold water for the terere. Today on the news was a short item about a 10 year old girl who has been selling the ice to go in the thermos flasks. In Paraguay, the biggest sector of the economy is driven by informal trade, most of which happens on the street. So this girl has her cool-box full of cylinders of ice for sale, under a tree.

However, there's a huge difference between her and most street-sellers in that she doesn't actually stay there to take the money and hand out the ice. There's a little notice stuck on the tree, saying that each cylinder of ice is 500 Guaranies (about 6p) and there's a padlocked tin with a hole in the lid to put your money in. She started this as an experiment because she felt that people were more honest than they are often given credit for. So she decided to see how honest her fellow Paraguayans really are. How many people would take the ice without paying?

Well, it turns out that, much to the amazement of the reporter, everyone has been extremely honest in paying for what they take. In a world of cynicism and distrust, it's really wonderful to hear that there really are plenty of honest people out there.



© Fiona L Cooper 2008

Teacher Training

Did you know that for every time you say something critical to a child, you need to say six positive things to counteract the bad feeling caused by that one negative comment? I found it very useful when I was told that during my own teacher training and I tried to put it into practice, though I must admit to never making it to that ratio. When you think about it, though, even as adults we feel criticism very strongly but quickly forget the praise we're given. It's a very helpful idea to bear in mind when you're teaching because it forces you to make the effort to say positive things, when it's not the most natural thing to do. And that can make teaching a more rewarding experience, because you are focusing on the positive things more, so you feel better about your work.

Perhaps it's a principle we should put into practice in our everyday lives. I know I tend to focus on the negative in every situation and, although I perhaps don't do a lot of verbal criticising of people, neither do I say a lot that's positive. In fact, this week, as I've visited students on teaching practice to assess them, I know I haven't followed my own advice. Oh, sure I've said positive things about their lessons - I always start with the positive - but then I move on to the "areas for improvement" and tend to linger there, giving advice about how they could improve etc. I fear there was one girl who was a bit disheartened at the end of our feedback time. So next time, I'm going to try to end on a positive note.

I have loved watching the students teach; for the most part they have done very well. It's been a particular joy to see those who I also observed last year, and how they've progressed. I find it very fulfilling to have such a direct impact on their training. I remember the teaching practice parts of my training as being the times when I learnt most about teaching. It's particularly useful when you get feedback about how you're doing so that you can improve, even in the next lesson.

So I hope that my own efforts (in sometimes stumbling Spanish) will have an overall positive effect on the students I observe. I would love for them to learn something from me which they can then put into practice and so can see for themselves how much they are improving.

(photo: 3rd year student Marisa on teaching practice)

© Fiona L Cooper 2008

Teaching News

Yesterday was the final exam for the English part of the new degree extension course. Hooray that it's finally over! Not that I didn't enjoy teaching it, but on the whole, this new 2 year program has been extraordinarily badly organised. Things seem to get started without enough thought as to how exactly they're going to work out, then when problems begin to appear, changes are made in haste and (inevitably) are badly thought through.

Anyway, English has been both a challenge and a joy to teach to these students. We decided that it would be most useful to them if it was relevant to their jobs (they're all qualified pre-school teachers), rather than just a course on improving their own spoken English. So we did vocabulary, songs, instructions and games that you'd need if you wanted to teach English to young children. That was the first semester. Then the second semester, the structure of the course changed to a modular system, so instead of an hour and a half once a week for 17 weeks, I suddenly had to teach 3 hours a week for 6 weeks!!! Still, once I got over the shock of that, and with an enormous amount of reliance on God in the lesson planning, I taught them about planning and other methodology useful for teaching English to very young children.

Well, the exam yesterday consisted in them pretty much writing down everything they'd learnt about how to teach English to young children. They also had to choose three things they'd learnt that were most useful to them and tell me how they were going to put them into practice in their own teaching (in whatever subject) and then they had to plan a lesson, according to given criteria. They did amazingly well!! I was so impressed with how much they've learnt, it really sounds as though they could all plan and teach English with no problems. I was particularly excited to read the things they're going to put into practice (or already are putting into practice!), having been inspired by this module. So I'm very excited and so happy to have done the course, even if it was extremely stressful at times! The best thing for me (and the biggest reason I came) is to see people trained to teach English (or any foreign language) in a way that is fun and motivates the kids. I've achieved my goal. I guess I can go home now!!!!! (Only kidding, Sam!)

Oh, and did I say it's finally over? Well, actually of course the final exam is not the final exam - I mean, the students who didn't have the right to do the final exam (maybe because they didn't do enough coursework, didn't come to enough lessons, didn't do the mid-term test or didn't pay their fees) get to do the resit next week. If they still have problems, then they get to do it the week after that. If, after these three chances they still can't pass, then at some point in the future (maybe just the following week, who knows?) they get to do the 3rd resit. I think that's really their last chance. And by that time, the teacher, the academic head and the academic secretary are all fed up, both with the subject and with the students who can't get their backsides into gear and do what's necessary. It's a pretty frustrating system for someone coming from the UK, where a pass is a pass and a fail means "goodbye."

And then there's the pass mark: 70%. SEVENTY PERCENT!!! Just to PASS! This means, of course, that the majority of the exam (and all coursework as well) has to be dead easy, so that all students get the chance to pass, at least. Oh, oops, you may be thinking that that's not so obvious, but I forgot to mention (though it may be clear by now!) that the students should all be able to pass. Hmm. What about those who don't quite have the brain cells to make it? Ah, well, poor wee things, they'll get all upset if they actually find out they're not up to the task. So the exam, the coursework and all the figures are manipulated so that they do pass, whether they are good enough or not.

AAAARRGGHHH! It drives me up the wall.

However, I do my best to take it all in my stride nowadays - it took a bit of getting used to but after 2 and a half years of it, I think at work I generally give the impression all this is quite normal, though in private I tear my hair out!

Now I have to ask myself how much of my frustration is justified because there's really a better way to do things, and how much of it is due to the difference in cultures between my home country and the place I'm now serving? How much should I just swallow the frustration and get on with it and how much do I have a right/duty/obligation to try and convince others that it might be better for everyone (the college, the teachers and the students) if things were done in a different way?

Well, firstly, it's not just FEISA that runs this way, it's the whole education system in Paraguay, from state primary schools to private universities. Secondly, I'm not in a decision-making role at FEISA, so I don't have a platform for suggesting any kind of change in the academic systems at the college.

So my approach has been one of going along with it, mostly uncomplainingly. And when I have complained, it's been to one of my British colleagues, so as not to offend the Paraguayans I work with. It would be extremely easy for me to start criticising the system left right and centre, from a position of "I come from an education system which is far superior to yours." However, I wouldn't make many friends that way! And since the system is so entrenched, any comments I made would not actually make any difference - the fact is, I and the rest of the teachers at FEISA have to work within the system, doing the best we can in the circumstances.

I think one of the most important cross-cultural approaches anyone can have is to look at the system, learn how it works and why it works that way and if you truthfully see that it could be improved, limit yourself to your own, rightful sphere of influence. For me, that influence stays within the classroom. So I turn up on time; I prepare thoroughly; I make sure what I teach is as relevant and interesting as possible, within the subject matter; I do my best to make my lessons interactive and engaging; I set homework which is an extension to the learning they have done in the lesson and I expect it to be handed in on time, etc. In this way, I hope to model excellence, in an effort to show the students that it can be done. If someone with a bigger sphere of influence within the college were interested, they could find out how I teach and maybe be inspired to encourage others to work to similar standards. Then things might begin to change.

As it is, the students I've been teaching are qualified pre-school teachers, so it is possible that they themselves might see the possibilities of giving yourself high expectations and be inspired to follow my example in their own classrooms. The knock-on effect of this in itself could be huge: Other teachers may copy them. However, the children themselves will reap the biggest reward, having committed teachers at an age when they are forming their own attitudes to learning. If they have good teachers in pre-school, they will enjoy learning throughout their lives. And that's got to be a good thing. Even if it is a bit pie in the sky!

© Fiona L Cooper 2008

Introvert or Extrovert? THAT is the Question!

The world can be divided in many ways; between women and men; singles and married; those who love Marmite and those who hate it; those who live in the country and those who live in a town; the list is endless. But one of the more significant divisions is that between the extroverts and the introverts.

Here's a conversation I overheard between "Ida" the introvert and "Eve" the extrovert, who were both studying and living at Bible College. You'll probably identify with either one or the other:

Eve: "What are you doing this afternoon?"
Ida: "I think I'll go swimming."
Eve: "Oh, what a great idea, I'll come with you!"
Ida (all of a sudden feeling much less enthusiastic about swimming!): "okay then"
Eve (a bit puzzled why Ida isn't jumping up and down with pleasure at the idea of having company, but nevertheless thrilled with the idea herself): "fantastic, I'll go get my stuff!"

What Eve failed to realise is that Ida was looking forward to spending the time alone at the pool. In fact, one of the reasons she chose that as an activity was precisely because she didn't want to join in any of the group activities that were taking place closer to home! Eve on the other hand imagines she's doing Ida a great favour, because who would want to go swimming on their own if she could have company?!!!

At a social gathering, the introverts will be the ones sitting in deep conversation with someone, or they'll be standing by a wall somewhere, looking very uncomfortable and trying to think of an excuse to leave as soon as possible. Meanwhile, the extroverts are talking in groups, or talking to a string of people, wandering from one conversation to another.

This division can define our lives in quite profound ways. Depending on which side of the line you are on, you may get a real buzz out of being around people a lot, or you feel that excitement about spending hours on your own. Just as there is no better option between the sexes or whether you're married or single, there is no better option between being an extrovert or an introvert.

However, as an unapolagetic introvert, I have observed that the world tends to be defined on extroverts' terms. This means introverts often get defined in negative ways - 'uncomfortable in social situations'; 'don't have vast numbers of friends', etc, rather than positive terms, like; 'have very deep and satisfying friendships'; 'enjoy spending time on their own', etc. It is generally the extroverts that run the world; they are the ones who organise the social events and the ones you notice at parties; they are the ones who can walk into a room full of people and know they're going to have a great time. Meanwhile the introvert will hang back and let the extroverts do all the socialising, all the time hoping that one of them might take enough of an interest in her to really find out how she ticks. Unfortunately, that ain't likely to happen, certainly not straight away.

Extroverts often make introverts feel worthless because they think everyone ought to be as comfortable as they are in social situations and they can look down on those who struggle, with the attitude of, "just get over it." However, for an introvert, the idea of spending time in new social situations, or with a lot of people they don't necessarily know, is actually extremely stressful and can be quite traumatic. Really. I know someone who, while at Bible College, decided to eat lunch in her room every day because she couldn't face the daily stress of entering the huge dining hall and choosing somewhere to sit. I can picture those of you who are reading this and thinking, "pull yourselves together, don't be ridiculous!" If you're thinking that, then the chances are you're a definite extrovert.

The world tells introverts they're inadequate to such a degree that they often end up believing that there really is something wrong with them. Unfortunately, because introverts tend to be quieter (not exclusively, but generally speaking!) then they don't get heard above the din of the extroverts who are particularly fond of the sound of their own voices! This means they can feel very misunderstood and many times think they are the only one in the world to struggle in this way. It can be a wonderful relief to realise that there are many of us out there who understand.

Challenges on the mission field
Introverts face particular challenges on the mission field. Entering a new culture forces people into a huge number of new social situations; with their mission team-mates, with their work colleagues, with people at church... And most of these will have different social "rules" to those they are used to. An introvert tends to process things internally so you may not see much "progress" in the adaptation to the new culture, but that does not mean it's not happening. Introverts need longer to observe people in social contexts in order to understand what's expected of them before feeling able to join in.

Language learning is a particular challenge to introverts. In order to improve your fluency, there's no other way than to take the plunge and try to communicate, even though you'll make mistakes. For an introvert, this can be a massive hurdle. Firstly because introverts don't tend to have the same desire to communicate that extroverts do, so there are fewer moments when they have the incentive they need to get over their fear of making a mistake. Secondly because, in processing their thoughts internally first, they take longer to reach a point where they know what they want to say, even in their first language. In a second language, this is magnified and so an introvert quickly feels frustrated that they can't respond quick enough, even when their actual level of knowledge of the language is sufficient to cope with the situation.

It is much harder for an introvert than an extrovert to get to know people and it takes longer for them to feel they have friends, because for an introvert a friendship is only satisfying when it has reached a certain depth. So introverts new to the mission field can feel lonely for a significant length of time. This calls for a certain amount of understanding on the part of the mission leaders. Understanding; not criticism! Please, if you're an extrovert and are in charge of introverts who are new to the field, don't compare them to the extroverts they've just replaced, who were so great at just getting on with it and making friends in the new culture etc. Give your introverts space to adapt and observe; in your shadow to begin with if need be. Then you will see that gradually they will find their feet and begin to take the initiative.

A word of caution to my fellow introverts; don't make it an excuse to hide away at home! It can be very tempting to feel sorry for yourself and want to steer clear of all uncomfortable situations. That's not possible and there's a fine line to walk between giving yourself the time and space you need and avoiding facing the challenges altogether. You need to walk closely with God to know which are the situations you need to force yourself into and which you can justifiably put off facing until you are better settled.

Finally, a note of encouragement; God made everyone different. Each one of us is unique and special to Him. None of us is better or worse than anyone else. There is no personality which should be aspired to; both extroverts and introverts have their strengths and weaknesses. Please don't wish you were made differently! Find out what your strengths are and learn to take advantage of them for the advancement of God's kingdom. Discover where your weaknesses are and learn to manage them in a healthy way. And most of all, learn to appreciate others for their own unique contributions in Christ's body; neither criticising them nor envying them for the ways they are different from you.

Particularly dedicated to my introvert friends on the SIM-Py team. You know who you are! Your friendship is like hot chocolate by a bonfire on a cold night in July!


Update: 23rd Sep 08:
Today I got a newsletter from an extrovert friend who has just moved from the UK to Asia and she writes this: "That evening when I returned I decided to spend some time with the girls who live in this boarding house. Every evening they peel garlic and sing songs together. So I joined them and spent about 2 hours chatting and peeling garlic." Perhaps this wasn't as easy for her as it sounds, but the idea of joining a well-established group in this way TERRIFIES me!!! I would first have to have short, individual conversations with the different people and then I'd need to be invited to join them - NO WAY could I ever just sit down with them like that!! And reading her comment made me feel rather inadequate because it seems like the absolutely best thing she could have done in the circumstances, but if it had been me, I'd have failed miserably.

© Fiona L Cooper 2008

Letter to the discouraged single girl in search of a husband

Dear friend,

You and I both grew up, as all girls do, assuming that we would get married one day. At first I thought that maybe I would marry one of the boys at school... I'd probably meet my husband at university... Then my friends started getting married and I knew my time would come soon... When I reached my late twenties and there still wasn't a husband on the horizon, I really thought God was taking a long time to answer my prayer... Eventually in my thirties I started to consider the possibility that I might remain single forever and my challenge now is to discover how best to deal with that possibility. Whatever stage you're at, I hope that some of the reflections below might help you see your situation in a more positive light and lead you to lean more on God.

Techniques and Formulas
To begin with, there are no techniques or formulas for finding a husband, no matter what anyone tells you. Plenty of people have given me advice about what I should do in order to better prepare myself for finding the right man. God does not work according to techniques or formulas. Just because one person found success using a particular method, does not mean that the same method can be applied successfully to everyone else.

Each child of God is unique. We all have our own individual gifts, personalities, strengths and weaknesses. God creates each person with a particular purpose in mind and everyone's journey is different. So just because an old friend tells you that she just prayed and prayed and prayed for a husband, and God provided her with one, does not mean that if you pray in the same way God will send you Mr Right. Perhaps you've heard someone say that she came to a point with God when she was adamant that she didn't want to get married; she stopped thinking and praying about it and, poof! there appeared before her very eyes the most perfect man she could have wished for... I know I've heard that one from many sources! Don't be tempted to follow her "method." And don't think that God would have given you a husband by now if you had only been doing x, y or z in an effort to find him. God is bigger than that. He knows what is best for you and he does not provide you with things just because you comply with some invisible rulebook.

Your journey with God is not your friend's. You have your own challenges to overcome and your own strengths to develop.

Marriage = Eternal Happiness?
Our problem is that the dream of marriage we are sold by society, the media and the church promises eternal happiness: The happy ever after of fairytales can be yours, if you only look for it in the right place or wait long enough or make it happen yourself.

Do you know that when you get married, it will be to an imperfect man? You may wish and hope for "the perfect man" but take note; he doesn't exist. Really. I know you're probably thinking, "of course I know that, I'm not expecting to marry the perfect man, just the one who's perfect for me." But are you sure you're not thinking somewhere deep inside that, if God's making you wait for marriage, it's because he's got someone who is going to be completely wonderful in every way?

I wonder what you think marriage will be like? Why do you really want to get married? Why are you so unhappy with your singleness?

Perhaps you have an unrealistic idea of what marriage is like. I know I did.

I was looking forward to companionship, intimacy and support. I was sure my husband would banish my loneliness and fulfill all my desires. But hang on. Remember, he's an imperfect man. So what? Well, for a start, I imagine my husband to be willing to spend time with me whenever I want. However, the man I marry will have his own priorities and will not always be willing to spend time with me, and may in fact want to spend time with me when I'd rather be doing something else. My imaginary husband would also love everything about me and I would love everything about him, of course. But wait a moment, every one of us has hang-ups and habits and attitudes that come from our sinful nature and that make us difficult to live with.

So I will not find the complete intimacy I long for in marriage. Neither will I find that special someone who will always take my side and fight my corner, supporting me 24 hours a day, 365 days a year: He will have his own concerns and stresses and commitments, which means times will come when I want his support but he will be unable to provide it. There will be times in my marriage when I will feel misunderstood, unsupported and alone because my husband will not be able to meet my emotional needs. There may well be moments when I will feel lonelier in marriage than I ever have done as a single person.

So why do I have these desires for companionship, intimacy and support, if they won't be satisfied by getting married?

Because God created me with these needs in order to satisfy them himself. The Lord is the only one who can meet all my needs and so I need to look to him to feel fulfilled, right now. Marriage will not satisfy the deep longings I have, only God can do that, so I need to stop longing for marriage and start longing for God.

God loves you just the way you are and your singleness is part of that at the moment, like it or not. He created you because he wanted to have a relationship with you, but it's hard for him to have a relationship with you when you're so focused on finding a husband. You're distracted; your priorities are not as they should be.

"And don't be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God's place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life." (1 Cor 7:17, The Message)

It's fine to want to get married but it's not fine to place all your hopes, dreams and expectations on that desire.

God's Gifts
Don't be expecting to ever "have it sorted" in terms of coming to terms with your singleness. And don't beat yourself up because you're not completely content with your singleness. Your discontent and your frustration are the spur to keep you looking to God, to keep asking for his grace and to help you recognise that you do indeed depend upon him to keep you going. God wants you to depend on him. That way you become closer to him, and he can bless you more freely.

There have been times when I have felt content with my singleness and I have been so grateful to God in those moments. However, these times inevitably end and I feel so fed up again; with my own weakness as much as anything. But God is still there and he's teaching me things through the heartache. I have to hang onto him and remember that it is only his grace that keeps me going.

You will have heard people quote Psalm 37 verse 4; "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart" and this is often taken to mean that whatever it is that you want right now, he will give you that thing as soon as you begin to delight in him. But surely it means that, once you start delighting yourself in him, your desires become more in tune with his for your life and so you start wanting what he wants for you, and that does not necessarily include marriage!!!!!

God does want to give you good and perfect gifts, of course he does. But it is very dangerous to assume that these gifts will come in the shape of your own desires. They may do, but they may not.

The Privilege of Singleness
Do you believe you have a right to get married? What makes you think that?

It's a fact of Christian life that some Christian women, including a significant proportion of those in full-time ministry, don't get married. And most of them have a life-long desire for marriage.

Don't give in to bitterness; it only damages yourself and your relationship with God. Instead, seek the Lord. He loves you more than any man ever could. He's waiting for you to turn your whole self towards him, to follow him with no regrets and no doubts. Trust God to provide for your needs. Trust him to know what's best for you. See every challenge and every difficulty as an opportunity to lean on God and thus learn from him.

Our intense desire for marriage is the product of a fallen world. As women, our fallen nature leads us to turn away from God and look for a man who can provide security and stability, on whom we can depend to meet our needs, instead of looking to God for that.

This is why singleness is such a privilege. To have discovered that God, rather than my mythical prince charming, is the answer to all my desires, is a wonderful blessing. If I had entered marriage thinking that my husband would fulfill all these expectations, I would have soon become very disappointed. My singleness also gives me the opportunity to become so intimate with God that I no longer look for satisfaction anywhere else, without the distraction of a man in my life. Then if I do find a man to share my life with, I will know much better what it is marriage can and can't provide me with.

Heavenly!
In heaven we will find the fulfillment of all our desires. We will enter into a new phase of our relationship with God; one in which all our sadness and frustration and sin are swept away by the power of his love. We will experience love like we've never known it before; we will finally see ourselves as our Creator sees us and we will be the sinless people he made us to be; the best version of ourselves. We will be loved and will love in return with no holds barred, in complete freedom and with immense joy.

There is nothing on this earth that compares with the wonders of what we will experience the other side of death.

There will be no marriage or singleness; we will live in complete harmony with all creation and in wonderful community with all God’s people.

It's going to be amazing, and far beyond what we could ever imagine!!! So set your sights on heaven, not on marriage. Set your heart on knowing God more fully, not on finding your husband. That is where you will find the pure love, joy and satisfaction your heart desires.

God is Able
I have come to the conclusion that it makes absolutely no difference what I do or where I go: God is more than able to provide me with a husband, wherever I am and whatever I'm doing. The fact that he hasn't up until now means that I am better able to serve him and grow in maturity with him as a single than I would be if I were married. He likes me this way. My singleness is a precious part of who I am and part of what makes me beautiful in his eyes.

So it's not about techniques for catching a husband or persistence in a particular type of prayer, it's about God's sovereign will for my life. Your life. There is absolutely nothing to stop him giving either of us a husband. The fact that he hasn't means it is his will for us to be single right now and no amount of searching, make-up or flirting is going to make the slightest difference. I, for one, wouldn't want to be anywhere other than in the centre of his will. Would you?

And if his will is for me to remain unmarried until he takes me into glory, then my prayer is that he will use my life, my gifts and my passions to his good purposes. I also pray that I will know him in ever-increasing intimacy, always looking to him to satisfy the desires of my heart, as only he can. May this be your prayer too.

God be your comfort and your guide as you walk this challenging path.

Fiona

© Fiona L Cooper 2008

Crazy Weather!

As you know, Paraguay's winter months are June through to August, more or less. The temperatures have been known to go as low as 0ºC during the night, though I'm pretty sure it's never snowed! This year, we had a cold-ish June but then July, which is usually the coldest month, was beautiful, with temperatures around 25º during the day. August was pretty variable, but generally cool to warm, no extremes either way. Then this week. Monday was warm. Tuesday was pretty hot. Wednesday was extremely hot, at 40º in the afternoon, then Thursday was cold all of a sudden (15-18º) and today (Friday) has been very cold, with an icy breeze - I don't think the temperature has risen above 10º all day! So on Wednesday, we were all walking around in our summer clothes and sandals, complaining about the heat and today we've been wrapped up in layers of woollies because it's sooo cold! Today was the first day all winter when I've been able to see my breath. Crazy! But I love the feeling of the cool air on my face when I'm wrapped up warm. So I've been smiling all day, though I don't think many others have been!



I'm going to have a cup of hot chocolate now and tuck myself up in bed with a book. Mmmm. Perfect!

© Fiona L Cooper 2008

A Historic Day

"Today marks the end of an elitist Paraguay, a secretive Paraguay, a Paraguay famous for corruption. Today marks the beginning of a Paraguay in which the authorities will be relentless against thieves."*

Fernando Lugo, the former bishop who won the presidential elections on 20th April, was sworn in today as the first non-Colorado Party president for 61 years. In a break from protocol, he wore a Paraguayan hand-embroidered shirt, without tie or jacket, and wore his trademark sandals rather than shoes. His image identifies him with his people; with the marginalised and half-forgotten communities of indigenous and disadvantaged Paraguayans, rather than the political and social elite.

He was elected on a platform of bringing change after so many years of Colorado rule. His manifesto focused on tackling poverty, corruption and the lack of jobs, which are seen by Paraguayans as being the reasons the country has not experienced the economic growth of its neighbours.

He is radical in more than just his dress: Last night he stated in an interview that he would not be taking a salary for his work as president. He said he didn't enter politics to make money or become rich. THIS IS HUGE in a country where politicians who are given positions of more power are usually soon seen to be buying bigger houses and better cars.

I get the impression that here is a man who really believes what he says he stands for. His work as a priest and bishop was among the poor and marginalised, and it is apparent his policies are more than just election pledges, but actually come from his heart. His voice breaks and he actually sheds tears when talking about justice for the poor.

After being sworn in, he started his speech in Guaraní, the native language spoken by the majority of Paraguayans. He addressed the indigenous communities first, and asked their permission to give the rest of his speech in Spanish. As well as talking about the need to tackle corruption and for land reform, he made it clear that the change people are so hopeful about is not just a matter of policies, but is everyone's responsibility:

"The building of this new Paraguay has a brick in your hands."

"Change is not an electoral issue, it's a cultural gamble, perhaps the most important one in Paraguay's history."

The challenge, he said, "will not be easy, but it will not be impossible."

Let's pray for him.

Here are two good recent articles from the BBC about Lugo:
Paraguay's President Faces Huge Task
Ex-Bishop Takes Paraguay's Helm

Oh, I know it's officially supposed to be "An historic day" but I never say that, so I didn't write it!
*All the quotes here are my own poor translations of what Lugo said. If there's a lack of grace about them, it's my fault, not Lugo's!

© Fiona L Cooper 2008

Photo credit: www.flickr.com/photos/fernandolugoapc/2765112403/in/photostream/

Perichoresis

I have been reading several books recently that have deeply affected the way I see God and have had a profound impact on my relationship with him: Velvet Elvis, by Rob Bell; Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places, by Eugene Peterson; The Shack, by William P Young and Song of Songs, by God (!). I have also been spending time with my friend Kelly and our conversations have deepened my perspective even further.

I am learning that the Jesus-centred life is all about him. It's not about me. At all. All I have to do is keep looking at him and I can trust him to do all the rest. It's not about me trying to do the right thing, or trying to become a better Christian, or trying to please him. Because I can't. It's about letting him do what he wants with my life and in my soul, gradually changing me as I focus on him, as I spend my life with him.

I am learning that life is all about relationships; firstly, relationship with God, then relationships with people. Life is about love. Loving in the way Jesus loves. No conditions. No expectations. Loving out of love itself; loving because I am loved. It's about spending time with people, getting to know them, sharing their lives, their hopes, their pain. And letting people into my life, letting them share my burdens and my dreams.

I am learning that God loves me with a deep, deep love. That he is inviting me to participate with him in the relationship of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. That there is nothing he wants more than a relationship with me; he looks forward to the times I spend with him and really delights in my presence, yet puts no expectations on how much time I should spend with him. His is not a demanding love; it's an inviting love. And that means I am free. No longer do I need to feel guilty about not living up to the standards other people seem to expect me to, in terms of my experience of the Holy Spirit or my practice of spiritual disciplines, etc. Guilt does not help my relationship with God! I am learning that I cannot live up to any standards imposed on me, either by myself or others. I am completely unable to because I am only human. So I am free to live my life with God at my own pace, in my own way. My experience of God is going to be different from everyone else's because I'm made differently; I am my own, unique person, so I must not beat myself up if I can't fit into someone else's mould.

I am learning that I am helpless to change myself and I am learning that what I need is more of God in my life and less of me: I am learning to give up my rights and my expectations; to realise that I am not important, even in my own life. It's all about God. Everything I do needs to spring from the love I have for God, not from a sense of duty or a set of rules I should follow.

I am learning to find my satisfaction in God alone.

I imagine the Father, Son and Holy Spirit standing in a group, absorbed in happy conversation with each other. Two of them are facing more or less in my direction, the other has his back to me. As I walk towards them, I am confident of being welcomed. The two who can see me turn their faces towards me with delight in their eyes, then the third one turns to see what they're looking at, finds it's me and his face breaks into a wonderful smile. The three have been happily waiting for me and as I approach, with my heart full of joy and expectancy, they open their circle a little, just enough to let me in, and I join them in their joy-filled, love-filled conversation. And we dance. Perichoresis.*

*Greek word for dance, used by early Greek theologians to describe the Trinity; see Peterson, Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places, pp44-47



© Fiona L Cooper 2008

Fun English on the web!

I've just uploaded my guidebook for teaching English to young children to a site called Scribd. There's a Spanish version and an English version, both available either to look at online or to download as a pdf.

Here is the English version for you to read right now! If you want to see it full-screen, click on the small rectangular icon on the top right of the viewer.

It is the product of many months of hard work, mostly undertaken during my first year in Paraguay and completed in February 2007. The Spanish version has been very popular with our students and those who attended my workshops last year.

Fun English for Kids (English) - Upload a Document to Scribd

Read this document on Scribd: Fun English for Kids (English)

© Fiona L Cooper 2008

Celibacy In Print!

It's very exciting because I've just seen my article, Sex and the single 30-something, published in the July edition of Evangelicals Now, a monthly magazine from the UK. It is my blog post (see the link on the right), adapted slightly. They kindly sent me a complimentary copy and there's a lot of interesting stuff in it.

Here's a quote from a book I'm reading at the moment, which sums up the prevailing attitude to celibacy, I think;

"There's nothing wrong with celibacy, as long as it's for the right reasons."

I wonder what those reasons are?!?! And what would be considered a wrong reason for celibacy?

The quote is from "Cold Kill" by Stephen Leather and it is said by a psychologist to her patient. It's quite clear that in our sex-crazed, God-denying culture, celibacy is seen as being so unnatural that you are considered abnormal and probably in need of help if you practise it.

Long live abnormality if it glorifies God!

Work Update

This photo shows students during a games afternoon

My different roles at the college are very much a challenge this year, particularly as Head of English. The situation with English is complicated and involves unhappy students, staff shortages and over-demanding teachers. I’m not enjoying the responsibility at all. I'd appreciate your prayers for the wisdom to know what to do, the courage to do it and the grace to do it with love.

I am enjoying teaching the level 1 students from the first year of the diploma course. They are a lovely group of girls and we have a lot of fun together. It’s the first time I’ve taught the same thing 3 years running and I like the fact that I’ve been able to improve the way I teach each year. (My poor class the first year I was here; they were definitely the guinea pigs!)

My students in the degree-level class have been a huge challenge because of the wide range of abilities they have. I have been teaching them the English they would need to be able to teach it to 3-6 year olds. It’s been fun, since I’ve been using activities suitable for pre-school age children. Those who have a high level of English have opted out of this first semester since they felt their time could be used more effectively in other ways. One of my other students told me she's been using some of the songs I've taught them with her nursery class, which is just wonderful to hear. Next semester the focus is on strategies and planning, so they all have to come to that.

I went on my fist visit of the year to the state adoption centre's orphanage for abandoned babies last week. Each week from now until the end of the year, our first year students will go in groups to do activities with the children. This is a great help to the staff, who are overworked and have so much to do in order to keep the babies clean, fed and clothed that they don't have much time at all to focus on their individual developmental needs. There were five of us (four students and me) and ten babies, between the ages of about 9 and 18 months. Some of the children were very active; at one point one of them started to climb up the shelves! Others needed a lot of attention and interaction to keep them from crying. One baby was content just to sit in my lap the whole time, watching what was going on in the rest of the room. It can be quite hard to leave them at the end of the session! The state does its best to find members of the child's extended family to take care of him/her and if they can't, the baby is put up for adoption.

The first teaching practice of the year is due to begin shortly so I will be going to visit some of the second year students on placement. I look forward to seeing how much the students have learnt and to being able to give each of them encouragement and constructive advice.

The Big Fat Lie About Romance

I'm going to have a bit of a rant now. Well, after all, this is my blog and isn't that what these things are designed for?

I am FED UP with the lies that we are constantly sold about romance. They come from television programmes, advertisements, films, books and magazines. But we get them most from the telly that we all spend so much time watching. There's an advert here in Paraguay for a body lotion that shows a woman putting the cream on her leg, while her boyfriend watches. Then they both fall into bed and the voiceover says, "The difference between 'going to bed' and 'going to bed with him' is the softness of your skin." The idea it's selling us is that if we use the right skincare product, we're guaranteed to get the man of our dreams. IT'S A BIG FAT LIE!!! There is no cream, no make up, no pair of jeans, no shampoo which will help you find your Prince Charming. In your sane moments, you probably know that over-well. But in your moments of desperation, of wondering whether you'll ever get married, of doubting whether God really knows what's best for you and of thinking that you've maybe put off hundreds of possible suitors by choosing the wrong hairstyle; in those moments, you may take a bit of pursuading that what you're being sold is not the truth. In those moments you're vulnerable to whatever lies the devil exposes you to. And it makes me MAD! It's so unfair, but so in character for him to take advantage of our deepest longings in that way.

And the idea that we can find that perfect love, that the man of our dreams really does exist and when we find him, we'll live together in blissful happiness forever... IT'S A LOAD OF RUBBISH!!! Yet we're sold it from all sides and we begin to expect it to happen to us, even think it's our right. But it ain't going to happen. The perfect man does not exist. Nor, for that matter does the perfect woman. But you know that. Or do you? It's so very easy to be fooled into believing all the BALDERDASH we're shown on the telly or in magazines, particularly in those vulnerable moments mentioned above. And it's very hard to get away from the images of "true love" which we see all around us, so they become ingrained into our subconscious and we accept them as if they were reality. ABSOLUTE TRIPE. Perfect happiness does not exist this side of heaven. Why? Because everything in this world has been corrupted by sin.

The media have latched onto this longing in all of us for perfect love and they use it to sell us things, whether through advertisements or in persuading us to watch certain television programmes or buy particular magazines. And when they've reeled us in, we let our minds feed on their lies without ever questioning the truth of what we're seeing, reading or hearing. And so we go through life thinking that our perception of romance, gained through the GARBAGE we expose ourselves to in the media, is actually accurate. IT'S NOT.

If we had a truer idea of the realities of relationships and the possibilities of other ways to find satisfaction, we could be much happier than we are. I fully believe that the biggest cause of dissatisfaction and sadness in the world is unrealistic expectations. As we seek the blissful life we're sold, we are constantly disappointed because we fail to find it. The media promotes the possibility of marital bliss and when we find out our marriage isn't like that, we look for a way out so that we can find it with someone else. UTTER CLAPTRAP.

We need to realise that the ONLY person with whom we can have a completely intimate and perfectly loving relationship is God. That's what he made us for. To live in harmony with him. No person on this earth can ever fill the longings in your heart for deep love. Only God. No person on this earth will ever satisfy your heart the way he can. No-one on this earth will ever know you completely and yet love you intensely. But God does. Seek him, not romance. Allow yourself to be loved by God and you will get a glimpse of the joy that awaits you in heaven. A joy that will never fade, a love that will never disappoint, a life that will never end.




The glory is God's alone.