Season's Greetings 2008

Walbottle Village First School 1980 Class 2

Dad found this in the attic the other day and sent it to me and my brother (who are both in the picture). Isn't it wonderful? I would have been about 7 and Keith would have been about 6. Keith and I spent some time yesterday on Yahoo Messenger identifying as many of our old classmates as we could. He was really good, I was well impressed with his recall of names. I was rubbish - I could only remember some girls in my year group; he could remember boys and girls from both year groups. Amazing! Through that discussion, I started thinking about a lot of things about my time at First School: Being in the same class as my brother, Maypole dancing, the kids who were from our village and those who were from nearby villages, friends we made at the time but have completely lost touch with now and birthday parties with Cadbury's Chocolate Fingers, which we never got at home! And I really remember hardly anything about the "lovely Miss Male" as my dad called her - she obviously made an impression on him!

We look like a real rag-tag bunch of random kids, don't we? I love it! We had a uniform, but it was obviously not as strict as uniform policies in some schools nowadays. As I recall, we really were from a wide range of backgrounds; some came from the posh new estate, some from the non-posh bit of the village and others from a neighbouring pit village. It was a small school (you can probably tell!) so we all knew each other and would play together in the evenings, weekends and holidays, out in the streets of the village or round at each other's houses. I remember watching Torvill and Dean skate their way to victory at the Winter Olympics at a friend's house in the posh part of the village, on a black and white telly (which was a bit incongruous, since we lived in the non-posh bit but had a colour telly!). I don't remember there being anything like a "cool crowd" at First School. I think we hung around with people who liked to do similar types of things at lunchtimes, mainly.

Nowadays my parents live right opposite the entrance to the First School and it's quite different now. The majority of the children are brought in cars (which tend to get annoyingly parked in front of our driveway!) rather than walked to school. They come from further away - there are very very few children in our village as far as I'm aware. At least you never see them - I guess if they do exist, they'll be inside playing on their Playstation or whatever. I think it's a shame that kids nowadays don't spend the same amount of time outdoors that we did. Well, that's my tuppence worth for the day!

The photo's a bit small, but can you tell which one is me?

© Fiona L Cooper 2008

The Joy of Singleness

I'm done with self-pity.

I'm over feeling sorry for myself.
I've had enough of wallowing.

It's time to challenge the assumption which is prevalent in society and the church that marriage is inherently better than singleness. It's not. Look at what Jesus and Paul say (Matt 19:11-12; 1 Cor 7:27-28 & 32-34). Jesus himself was single, in a culture where it was by far the norm to marry. In our culture too it is the norm to get married, or at the very least (for non-Christians) to have long-term sexual relationships. This makes it pretty hard for those of us who are single. The pressure comes from all sides to "find THE ONE," settle down and have a family.

Because it is so normal to get married, those of us who aren't feel as though we're missing out on something; we're not quite grown-up if we haven't entered the club of the "married with children." And so we lament our lack of companionship, sexual fulfillment and offspring. And we get together with others in our situation and moan about the lack of single Christian men and we try not to look too desperate whenever we meet a new man who's single.

But what if we really believed that there is nothing wrong with being single? What if we could see our singleness as being a channel for God's blessing and even an opportunity to grow in intimacy with God which we wouldn't have if we were married? What if we could show the world the benefits of being single, so that others could see for real that it's a truly blessed lifestyle?

Then people might see that singleness can be more than just a time of waiting for the right man; that it can mean a life of fulfilled contentment. The single people we know who are younger than us might learn not to fear singleness in the way that we did when we were younger. Wouldn't that be awesome?

I am tired of the messages I am constantly bombarded with about how much better life is if it's lived with a partner. I want to explore the possibility of living out my singleness without feeling that it is somehow less valid than marriage. Marriage is the norm. I want to be normal. But why do I feel that normal is good and therefore abnormal is bad? Perhaps the word 'abnormal' has negative connotations. What about 'unusual' then? Or 'unique'? Every one of us is unique, so why should we want to conform to society's idea of what's good? Unique is good. Let's be proud of being different. Romans 12:2 says, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will."

Let's stop thinking of marriage as some higher state of being and start thinking about our singleness as being God's gift to us at this time. It is a gift he has given us which we can use for his good purposes, to bless and encourage others and to grow in intimacy with him. When we focus on God, our perspective changes. We start to see things as he sees them and so we begin to understand something of his wonderful plan for us as we accept our circumstances and step out in faith with him.

Let's live life to the full, making the most of every opportunity to develop our gifts and form deep relationships. This life is all about relationships, but not just of the romantic, life-long partnership kind. Invest in the friendships you have. Seek out new friends. Make time to really get to know other people; develop bonds of shared experiences and emotions. Be generous with your love. Spend time with families - if you long for children of your own it can be a wonderful thing to get to know other people's children. As a non-parent, you can develop a very special relationship with children that can be of enormous blessing to yourself, the children and their parents.

Most importantly, invest time and energy in your relationship with God. He is there, waiting for us to turn to him, longing for us to know him as he knows us. He wants all of us, not just half an hour in the morning, but all day, every day. He loves us with a passion no human could ever match. Why settle for anything less than a fully intimate relationship with our Lord?

If marriage is a picture of God's relationship within the Trinity, and if sex is a glimpse of heaven, then these are truly wonderful things. But they are images of something deeper, more intimate, more holy, more connected, more fulfilling. More, more, more. Why should we want the image if the real thing is out there, waiting to be found by us? The real, deep, abiding, passionate, never-ending, glorious love of the Father is ours for the taking. Why do we search for its earthly substitute if God is calling us here and now into a holy union with him? Can't you hear the Father's voice calling you; "Arise my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me." (Song 2:10)? He is inviting us to join him on an adventure of abandoning ourselves completely to him.

Rob Bell says (referring to the passages from Matthew and 1 Corinthians above), "It's not just that you're fine single. The premise of the Scriptures is that you are able to connect with God and serve God in ways that those who are married can't. The tilt is towards being single, not away from it." (Sex God)

Let's be glad for the things which make us different from our married friends. Let's enjoy our solitude, our independence, our freedom to choose what to do and when and how to do it. Let's not feel guilty any longer for being able to sleep late on a Saturday when everyone else has to get up with the larks to take the kids swimming or do the weekly shop. Let's enjoy doing things on the spur of the moment and choosing which film to watch without having to take anyone else's taste into account! Let's talk about the things we enjoy about our life with our friends, single and married alike. Let's begin to spread the word that being single can be A Good Thing.

And let's seize the opportunities our single life gives us to love the Lord our God with all our heart, all our soul and all our strength (see Deut 6:5). Let us say from the bottom of our heart that, "you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance." (Ps 16:5-6) Let us seek him with an unquenchable desire, reaching for the day when, "you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand." (Ps 16:11)

Let's make it our aim to find our satisfaction in our Lord and Saviour, and let's not rest until we have found complete joy in deep intimacy with him.

Two books I recommend about singleness/relationships and God:
Al Hsu "The Single Issue" (Known in the US as "Singles at the Crossroads")
Rob Bell "Sex God: Exploring the Endless Connections Between Sexuality and Spirituality."

Other books I recommend about a deeper, more fulfilling relationship with God:
John Piper "When I Don't Desire God"
Jeanne Guyon "Experiencing the Depths of Jesus Christ"
Elizabeth Prentiss "Stepping Heavenwards"


© Fiona L Cooper 2008

Teaching and Learning in the Chaco

Last week I had the privilege of accompanying the third year FEISA students on a trip to various communities in the remote and inhospitable Chaco region of Paraguay. The purpose of this yearly outing is to give the students who are about to graduate the opportunity to see different kinds of educational projects being run in indigenous and Mennonite communities. Most of them only have experience of city life, so it can be very valuable indeed to show them the reality of life in indigenous areas as well as the very different way the Mennonites organise their communities.

We left Asunción on Tuesday at 6am on a bus which promised a working toilet, tv and dvd player. There was much disappointment when it was discovered that neither the toilet, the tv nor the dvd player worked properly. And that was before we'd even left the city! Later that morning, we arrived at a community boarding school called Pai Puku, where 500 children live and learn from February to November every year. They are the sons and daughters of parents who have to leave their homes to find work and this gives them an education they would not otherwise have access to. The school is run by the Catholic Church and funded, in part, from Belgium, where the founding priest came from. (He was named Pai Puku by the locals - Pai meaning priest and Puku meaning tall in Guaraní) It is an amazing place, in a remote area, with little access to anything. The children are involved in all the cleaning, washing, ironing, bread-making, gardening, carpentry that make sure the community runs smoothly. They are amazingly self-sufficient and independent. The girls and boys are taught life-skills along with regular lessons, so that when it comes time for them to leave they have at least some of the tools they need in order to make a go of life. I was very inspired!

Girls at the laundry sinks in Pai Puku.

Later that afternoon, we arrived at an indigenous community a long way from the tarmac'd road, called Dos Palmas, or Two Palms (though there wasn't even one palm to be seen!) This is one of the communities FEISA is helping this year through the pre-school training programme the college runs. We arrived at 3pm and it was 38º in the shade. Some of the students had been designated the task of painting murals on the pre-school classroom walls and the rest had organised games for the children outside. In the heat. I went between the two groups, taking photos, for a time. The children and their mothers thoroughly enjoyed the games and the painters were doing a really great job, though it was quite painstaking at times. After a while I really couldn't handle the heat outside any longer and stayed inside with the painters. I inevitably got roped in to help and am proud to say that the butterfly on the wall was painted by lil' old me! It was horribly hot and also extremely dusty, due to the severe drought that the Chaco experiences every year during the cooler (and drier) months between April and October.

Kids at Dos Palmas playing games.

Me and my butterfly!

Three hours after we arrived, much hotter and quite exhausted, we left Dos Palmas to head further north to a Mennonite town called Loma Plata. This is a community with a population of about 5,000, very efficiently run by people whose ancestry comes from Germany, via Canada, for the most part. They speak German and often English, but many don't speak Spanish at all. On Tuesday night we stayed with friends and family of one of our students who comes from the town. They looked after us very well and I enjoyed meeting new people I could talk to in English!

The following morning we visited an indigenous school which is part of a Mennonite-run project to train indigenous mothers to teach pre-school aged children. The project provides the resources and the training, but the community has to provide a committed teacher and food for the children, which is cooked over an open fire every morning. The children are taught in their own language (in this case Enxet) and we watched as they sang songs, recited poems, played games, practised the alphabet and did an art activity which involved glue! The wonderful thing about seeing this school was the obvious love the teacher and her helper exhibited towards the children and their joy in what they do, which was transmitted to the children and all who were watching that day.

Indigenous teacher and kids, marking attendance, using a wonderfully creative system!

We then went to the resource centre for this project and one of the co-ordinators explained to our students how the project is run and some of the difficulties they encounter. This was also very inspiring for me. It is just great to see people who are relatively well-off taking an interest in improving the opportunities of those near them who don't have the same access to resources and training. Glory be to God!

Indigenous kids brushing their teeth after eating.

After a good lunch in Loma Plata we went to visit a nursery school, run by the local council for the town's residents. It was now 42º in the shade! We were very excited to see one of FEISA's 2007 graduates working there and obviously enjoying it. The education system in the Mennonite community was much more like the kind of thing our girls are used to in schools in Asunción than the indigenous communities; it was easy to see the similarities there. After that we had the privilege of visiting an education centre for adults with learning disabilities. We saw the men doing woodwork and the women doing embroidery, all of which things were for a purpose, not just to keep the folk occupied. There was a little shop where you could buy the finished products and we later saw some items from there for sale in the town bookshop. Once again I was very inspired by the work going on there. I worked for two years with mentally handicapped adults in the UK and none of them did anything approaching as productive as these people were doing. I don't know how representative my experience was of what goes on with this sector of society in the UK, but having seen these Mennonite folk with disabilities actually working with their hands and producing something at the end of it, I feel it's a shame there isn't more of that at home. It gives them a purpose to their lives that they don't have if all they do is activities such as art, crafts, games, swimming etc. We were created to work and surely people with learning disabilities have that same innate need.

After a visit to the library and bookshop in Loma Plata, we started for home. On our way back south towards Asunción the countryside was noticeably greener than it had been the previous day. There had been torrential rain in Asunción that morning, we'd heard, and the lower part of the Chaco had obviously benefited too.

It was very encouraging to hear what the students had gained from the experience. They all said they had been impacted by the different things they saw. Some were affected by the school at Pai Puku. Others were touched by the joy on the faces of the children at Dos Palmas when they were playing games. One girl said she was very impressed with the way the Mennonites took care of the less-fortunate people in their community. It was certainly a memorable experience for everyone, including me.

Some of the students having fun on the journey home.

I arrived back in my flat at 10pm on the Wednesday. Extremely tired, hot and in desperate need of a shower!

© Fiona L Cooper 2008

Friendship

Here is a tribute to three beautiful women who have blessed me with their friendship over the past three years and who are all heading in new directions very soon. Alyssa, Kelly and Stacy, this is for you:

Friendship is the warmth of a long hug.

Friendship is long conversations about God and life.

Friendship is praying together.

Friendship is the challenge of a new way of understanding the Bible.

Friendship is supporting each other even when you don't understand each other.

Friendship is a phone call just to see how you're doing.

Friendship is the knowledge that someone's on your side.

Friendship is shared laughter.

Friendship is shared tears.

Friendship is delighting in each other's gifts.

Friendship is being quick to forgive and slow to take offence.

Friendship is shared meals.

Friendship is deep conversations that change your perspective on life.

Friendship is shared silence.

Friendship is the beauty of a smile on a familiar face.

Friendship is knowing what the other person is thinking before they've said anything.

Friendship is always being amazed at just how beautiful/intelligent/godly/selfless the other person is.

Friendship is walking the path of life together.

Friendship is joy, grace and love in human form.

Friendship is the best thing about this life.



Thank you Alyssa
Thank you Kelly
Thank you Stacy

for showing me what friendship can be. I love you and will miss you enormously.

© Fiona L Cooper 2008